Saturday, March 16, 2019

A Simple Solution

Troy High School: A jungle consisting of only the fastest and slowest—there’s no in between. 

You’re either a sloth or cheetah. Sloths are the ones that walk literally 0.0078 miles per hour, as if they have nowhere to be. They’re the ones who receive plenty of sleep and still aren’t energized to move their feet at a normal pace.
The cheetahs, on the other hand, actually care. They are willing to push the sloths to the ground and even bite in order to get to their next source of knowledge on time. This is why cheetahs are evolutionarily clever and quick witted—their education surrounds their lives, and they are willing to do the worst, even if it means hurting the ones closest to them in their own packs in order to gain advantages regarding their success. Cheetahs are in it to win it, and will do whatever it takes to be victorious.
I have trailed off a bit on my true purpose, though. Please don’t take this the wrong way either, cause I am only “humbly propos[ing] my own thoughts” (Swift 405). So, to all the cheetahs at Troy High: instead of stabbing your closest supporters in the back for your own prosperity, make the sloths your victims. These slow-pokes deserve to be extinct; they are ruining the school’s momentum during passing time.
Lie to them, cheat them, cook them for dinner, push them down the stairs…. Who cares? It would only do good for Troy High in the end.
For example, the school will become a more fast-paced one. Without the sloths, cheetahs can speed to classes before the second bell even rings, since the annoying species won’t be in the way anymore. No more having to push these obnoxiously slow animals to get to your destination—they will be exterminated from the property of Troy High. The halls will be clearer, lunchrooms emptier, bathrooms cleaner, and more. The school will simply be a better place for all who desire to actually earn an education by arriving to class on time.
Doesn’t matter how the duty is done, as long as you cheetahs get what you want then life is accomplished.
So let’s turn Troy High from a jungle of madness to a place where only the best survives…
 So I “humbly” suggest that we destroy the sloths (Swift 405)!

5 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading your post. I like how you made a similar "modest proposal" to Swift. You did really well in conveying a message through satire while replicating a similar tone to the piece we read.

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  2. I really like your comparison of students to animals based on how they walk, and the quotes you used from a "Modest Proposal" fit very well with your ideas too!

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  3. This was a really interesting blog post! I love how you took on Swift's voice to relay your own experiences, and how you incorporated the quotes.

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  4. I love the metaphor and satirical elements you used in your post! This is so relatable and the quotes you used added even more to your message. Great job this week!

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  5. Great Job Izzy! You really understood Swift's tone and created a great piece of satire! I myself am a cheetah so I might have to think twice before I push past people next time, maybe I out to slow down. I like the food for thought in this piece!

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