Who Cares?

"A woman uses about 20,000 words per day while a man uses about 7,000" (Mehl 557).

As I read this so-called "fact," I feel as if I'm reading complete gibberish. 

We all talk-- it's a part of life. Who cares if I talk more than the person next to me? Who cares if I never stop complaining or ranting; it's just who I am and I can't help it-- but it's certainly not because I am female.

Whoever came up with the erroneous idea that women talk more than men is obviously a person who equates one's gender with their personality, two ideas in which correlation does NOT mean causation. A human's personality grows and becomes their own, which includes how he or she behaves, learns, and of course, talks. It is unfair to find coincidences throughout our daily lives and place a label onto groups as a whole based on what we think we see and understand. 

This is exactly what always happens to women-- we are constantly being stereotyped with several, and annoying, reputations such as being needy, weak, and in charge of household duties (raising children, cleaning after men, etc). I am so sick of being treated as inferior to men, as if I can't handle myself all alone in this judgmental world. The constant stereotyping of women needs to come to an end, so we can live in a place where a comments such as "Oh, she's a girl be nice" or "Of course she did, what a girl," cease to exist.

And going back to the whole "who talks more thing," I can assure you, I know PLENTY of guys who talk way more than me, and that's saying a lot because we all know I am a chatty one. 

But then again, who cares?

She's Been Marked

Ok I'm just going to let whoever's reading this know: I'm not just saying what I'm about to describe solely because I'm a fellow female; this is the real world, not something I've made up.

First off, yes I agree: men can be marked just as women can. The thing that catches my attention, though, is how men don't receive the criticisms nearly as much as women do. 

For example-- the dress code. Many females are punished for simply showing their shoulders or wearing leggings. I mean come on..... LEGGINGS! I don't know what they expect from us... they're just pants! And our shoulders.... how are they any different from a guy's? We females are shamed for wearing outfits considered too tight or revealing; yet, I have never witnessed a single guy become disciplined for wearing saggy pants or muscle tanks, which by the way, also reveal their shoulders!

As one can tell, women are constantly being "marked" with the impression of trying to show off their body. Each of us are judged based on every small detail of how we look, being "marked" because of our own unique style that unfortunately, is regarded the wrong way simply because we are female.

"Tight sleeveless dress," "sexy jumpsuit," "baggy slacks," "stylish black t-shirts," "frosted blond," "dark lashes;" rather than noticing what a girl wears by solely her clothing, which is already bad enough, each item contains a detailed description of how others see her wearing that specific outfit (Tannen 552). It can never just be a dress or a shirt, but has to be accompanied by an adjective that marks them, forcing women to stand out from the rest of society, and not necessarily in a positive way.

Now, I'm not saying that I don't want women to be considered "marked," but I just wish that society would stop looking at a woman differently when she wears a business suit to a meeting just as a man, or when she shows her shoulders, or wears shorts.... we should be able to mark ourselves without judgement, and hopefully one day I can go to school with an off-the-shoulder shirt and not get dress coded for it.

What is Love?

As I was reading the psychoanalytic view of The Great Gatsby, I stumbled upon an intriguing quote:

"..romantic love is the stage on which all of our unresolved psychological conflicts are dramatized.." 

This made me think deeply about what love truly is, which forces me to ask:

Is there such thing as love, or do we only love what we psychologically need based on our past?

I know that in The Great Gatsby, each relationship had their own problems, and it was because of the fact that they were merely using each other for their own benefits, which ultimately related to how they were raised.

But let's face it: The Great Gatsby is not the best book to rely on for love advice.

If love were solely based on psychology, then why is it possible for two people to care more about each other than themselves? It takes two to love, and it would be extremely invalid to say that every single relationship in this world consists of two people who are only drawn to one another because one contains the psychological needs of the other... everyone getting struck by lightning is more likely than this being true.

And love isn't only an emotion you have toward someone, but it is composed of many emotions that two people feel for each other; it has to be felt by both in the relationship. Love combines two people into one, creating a brand new human being.

Love DOES exist, but it's one of those things that is rare to find and hold onto; but when you find it, your whole world will light up and you will know, deep down, that you're in love.

Please Don't Remind Me

In "The Great Gatsby," the message of how people cannot repeat their past, no matter how hard they try, is thoroughly enforced. Although, I see myself and Gatsby as two tremendously different people.

Why do I say that? For one, as Gatsby becomes addicted to recreating something that was once lost, I have no intentions of attempting to rebuild damage that was done in my past. 

"Your past comes back to haunt you." That's how my mind interprets thoughts from back in time. I think of it as a ghost that shows up in my worst nightmares, or a cloud that soaks me to the point where my whole body shrivels up like a raison. 

For example, it's when I see a chubby photo of myself from the fourth grade, or when I remember the time I had gotten into a fight with my best friend; I would never want to relive these painful memories.

And that's what I don't understand about Gatsby. A girl he loved had left him for another man because she was impatient. I don't know about you guys, but wouldn't that ring a bell in your head telling you that she's not the right girl? Isn't her leaving you awful enough, or do you really want to go for her again and eventually have her ditch you once more?

The past is something that shouldn't be messed with. There's a reason why we are not allowed to turn back time, because if we were capable of doing so, our lives would be full of despair and destruction.

A clock keeps moving. It keeps ticking. It never stops. This is our life; always moving, always ticking, never stopping; and we need to be okay with that.

So, "tomorrow we will run faster, [and] stretch our arms farther" to create a life that we can continue to build on, without wishing to start all over again. This way, we can focus on our future instead of being held back by our pasts.

Spread the Love

"'Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,'" he told me, "'Just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages you've had'" (Fitzgerald 5).

This quote stands out from the rest of the novel as it is extremely blunt, although accurate. Much of our population is quick to judge people over just one measly action or word.

We have to be honest with ourselves; we put a title on people way too fast and that needs to stop. Obviously, this isn't always the case, but we do it without even noticing most of the time.

For example, just a few days ago, I overheard two girls talking about a young man that had just walked by. Their exact words were:

"Who is that?"

"I don't know, but he's creepy."

He hadn't even speak to them! They didn't give him a chance to prove himself, because they had already conjured up a conclusion with no evidence to back it up.

Sometimes, the people we judge aren't having the best day or are going through a difficult event in their life; and we only make it worse with our harsh words.

And don't get me wrong, I probably do it all the time without even realizing it, because like I said earlier, this is a common flaw that is built inside of us. We cannot control it, but we can try to overthrow it. We have to try our very best to understand if what we're thinking is actually logical and inoffensive. If we can successfully do this, there won't be those "loners" that have been secluded from the rest of the school because of inaccurate rumors. Problems with bullying should decrease exponentially. Kids will acquire more friends that they can love and trust.

We would be one step closer to achieving true happiness for each and every one of us, because there would be less hatred to spread.

Google is Wrong

Google defines beauty as "a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight."

As I look at this definition, I begin to ponder and question what this whole world deduces beauty to be. I mean if Google defines it, then it must be true, right?

WRONG!

Nowhere in that definition does it mention beauty being an inner quality, rather, only gives examples such as "shape, color, or form." In other words, Google is saying that one's body shape, skin color, and weight is what makes a person beautiful. 

Are we as a society going to continue to believe this fallacy? Will we resume to try and live up to what the typical "beauty standards" are? 

These conjectures of beauty produce many problems within the female population. Women want to reach the bar of what is considered to be "beautiful."

Take myself, for instance. I have never thought of myself to even be able to compete with other girls at Troy High. Through my perspective, every other girl has qualities that I can never even strive to have. They are all either taller than me, better in shape, skinnier, have cuter outfits, or an infinite number of other reasons.

And I know for a fact that I am not the only one with this mentality. In every other girl's mind, something is always wrong with the way she looks. I have literally heard girls say,

"My thighs are too big."

"My eyebrows are weirdly shaped."

"My hands are ugly."

Even Hagar from Song of Solomon was having difficulty squeezing into a skirt smaller than her usual size. She "sucked in her stomach and pulled the fabric as far as possible, but the teeth of the zipper would not join" (Morrison 310). In her head, if she is unable to fit into this desirable size, then she is "overweight," at least, according to Google's definition of beauty.

I just want to slap society across the face for shaping women into what it thinks they should look like! They do not have the authority to control women mentality, yet women continue to listen, as if it's their master.

I truly hope that one day, women will wake up and realize that Google is wrong; beauty is not about the exterior, but it is represented through one’s identity and personality. A beautiful girl is one who makes others smile, not jealous.

Burdened with my Thoughts

Every day I walk into Troy High not ready for what my teachers have to offer me. What new lessons will I learn that I don't understand? Will I receive a pop quiz in one of my classes and fail it? Will I be able to successfully perform tonight's homework without difficulties?

Can you recognize what all of these thoughts have in common? 

I'll answer that question for you: they all contain negative ideas of what I can accomplish in a given day. In my mind, I will never succeed on a pop quiz or fully understand what's going on in certain classes. I will always go home and continue to be confused. 

In Song of Solomon, a peacock is described as having "jewelry [that] weighs it down" (Morrison 179), representing how wealth is preventing both Macon and Milkman from truly living their lives. This revived me, as I realized all of the opportunities I have missed out on was because I was being stomped on by my own reflections.

I think of myself as never being as good as anyone else, no matter what. Whether it's English, biology, soccer, creativity, etc... I always put myself last on a scale of best to worse.

I feel as if I am that peacock, but instead of jewelry, my pessimistic thoughts are constantly holding me back from reaching my full potential. It's as if my brain is unable to cooperate with the portion that controls positive behavior. 

Why do I do this to myself? I have absolutely no idea. Although, I have finally recognized that I do indeed acquire such characteristics and will strive to improve on no longer thinking this way. If I continue to do so, I will be able to fly and be free from the burdens that keep me glued to the ground.

We all have something that prevents us from completing certain tasks, yet we don't know why or how they developed. We've got to work hard to make sure that there isn't any jewelry weighing us down, because "nobody [can] fly with all that shit" (Morrison 179).

"Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down" (Morrison 179).